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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23016634">Roxy Lalonde User Manual</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/achromaticBibliophile/pseuds/achromaticBibliophile'>achromaticBibliophile</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Homestuck Unit Manuals [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Homestuck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcoholism, Depression, Mentions of Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 11:34:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,340</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23016634</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/achromaticBibliophile/pseuds/achromaticBibliophile</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>WHAT PUMPKIN is proud to announce the latest in our HOMESTUCK UNITS series, inspired by the many whacky and loveable characters from our iconic HOMESTUCK WEBCOMIC, and it’s a doozy this time folks! Put your hands together for the one, the only ROXY LALONDE, ROGUE OF VOID and just all around great gal to have around! While she’s normally one of the level-headed folks and pretty stable, Roxy does have a few touchy subjects and a past history of alcoholism, so we hope that this manual will help sort out any problems that could arise with her joining your household and just be something enjoyable to read.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Homestuck Unit Manuals [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1610812</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Roxy Lalonde User Manual</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Roxy Lalonde User’s Manual</strong>
</p><p>WHAT PUMPKIN is proud to announce the latest in our HOMESTUCK UNITS series, inspired by the many whacky and loveable characters from our iconic HOMESTUCK WEBCOMIC, and it’s a doozy this time folks! Put your hands together for the one, the only ROXY LALONDE, ROGUE OF VOID and just all around great gal to have around! While she’s normally one of the level-headed folks and pretty stable, Roxy does have a few touchy subjects and a past history of alcoholism,  so we hope that this manual will help sort out any problems that could arise with her joining your household and just be something enjoyable to read. </p><p><strong>Legal Asscovering Agenda</strong><br/>So, just to lay down the ground rules and answer any moral/ethical questions one might have, all HOMESTUCK UNITS are homegrown, ecto-biology created individuals all capable of rational thought, expression of self and existence, and personality. No humans, animals, insects, plants, aliens, etc. were harmed in the making of these individuals and no mindscrewing of innocent individuals like a cheap sci-fi series occurred either. Not only do our units look like their comic counterparts, but they think and act like them as well! How we achieved this is waaay too technical and complex and frankly boring to describe so I’m just gonna say this: We did it, there was green slime involved, and now we have these guys. Look you can prostrate in front of us and weep tears of joy later, right now I have a manual to monologue while the fresh meat-I mean newest employee {I can see you rolling your eyes Emma} faithfully transcribes my words for your reading pleasure.<br/>This however doesn’t mean that your unit might not have a negative reaction to learning that they were created with the sole purpose of replicating their fictional persona from a webcomic {Last time we tried to explain the situation to a prototype...eh, that’s not important and nobody died so it’s fine. Yes Emma, I know our lab got wrecked and you were terrified, so were half of the other guys}. So when the time comes to have the sit down to explain the birds, bees, and ecto-biology machines to them, be patient, kind, and preferably in a situation where physical harm isn’t a concern.<br/>So yeah, back to the moral stuff so our lawyers are happy with us. While a majority of our beloved cast are around the 13 YEAR OLD marker, {or 6 SWEEPS OLD in the case of the TROLLS}, WP has taken the liberty to adjust the UNITS ages to a more appropriate and less creepy 21 years {10 SWEEPS}. This is in part due to unfortunate implications and situations that may arise with users interacting with our units, who would have been underaged individuals. Also in part  because it is really sketchy when you unbox a literal teenager from our shipping. It’s weird enough doing it to an adult, a kid makes it even more squiwcky. Don’t fret and wail at the thought of your problematic fav no longer being exactly how you envisioned them (they probably don’t as they are anyway), their personalities are unchanged and this age change has been done with both you and the unit’s favor in mind. It also allows the unit to have more freedom in their new life with you, such as driving a car, getting a job, going to Nickel Shot Night, ect. Oh yeah, your UNIT is totally capable of getting a job {Keeping it is another story…} if they so desire and can greatly assist you in the running of your household, but we nor you run slave labor so don’t be an ass. We’ll list out some possibilities for each in case you and your new chum decide to flip through the classifieds or troll around some sites one day.<br/>And since every single one of those damn shippers want to know, yes your UNIT has fully anatomical parts associated with their species and gender and NO we here at WP are not going to describe the intricacies of TROLL genitalia for you. What’s in their pants is their own business {unless they want to show you}. The normal rules of society still apply: no non-con touching, no groping, and no otherwise inappropriate touching or actions without their explicit consent. {Good luck trying to use coercion on any of them anyway, you HAVE read the webcomic right? These guys can get violent fast and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself}. However, romance waits for neither man nor troll and our UNITS are fully capable of developing feelings for others, whether it’s another UNIT, the people around them, and even you. {Another reason for the age up too}. They can be romanced if you so desire but we recommend that you wait on this until they learn the whole “You’re fictional constructs from a webcomic given life, blah blah blah” since that can be a breach of trust and lead to relationship issues galore {Jeez Emma this is getting boring can’t we skip to the good stuff? I’m sure the readers are thinking the same thing}.<br/>Good news folks, we’re just about done with all this legal asscovering according to Emma {and for once those were her words not mine!} and we’ll be right on the road shortly! Just remember:<br/>We here at WHAT PUMPKIN are not responsible for any BLOODSHED, MAIMING, MUTILATION, SICK FIRES, CHAOS, and/or SHENANIGANS that may occur with the purchase of our products! As the user of our amazing service, you’re responsible for the CARE, WELLBEING, and SAFETY of your UNIT and any failure to properly tend to them will lead to UNFORTUNATE IMPLICATIONS and even REMOVAL of your UNIT. Any and all DAMAGE that may occur to you, your property, and others will likewise be attributed to you. Now, onto the good shit! Take it away Emma!</p><p><strong>Unit Information</strong><br/><span class="u">Unit Name</span>: Roxy Lalonde {Honestly Emma, I doubt anyone is reading this portion in the slightest. I could go right back to christening these kids with horribly inaccurate and frankly disgusting names, were it not for that glare you’re leveling at me right now. Alright alright we keep it normal.}<br/><span class="u">Additionally Answers To</span>: Rolal, Miss Zuiperpips, Roxanne, Lalonde {Foxy Roxy is occasionally acceptable, just be prepared for similarly flirtatious nicknames from her and plenty of *wonks*. Mom is also an option, but that’s normally just for a DAVE STRIDER.}<br/><span class="u">Classpect</span>: Rogue of Void {You should hopefully be aware of the routine and, if you’re a first time user, head on down to the Settings section for an update.}<br/>Species: Human {One of these days Emma, I swear I’m going to lose my last flying fuck and go apeshit if I have to narrate this part again. Yes I know it’s just one last human after Rox, I don’t care!}<br/><span class="u">Age</span>: 21<br/><span class="u">Date of Birth</span>: December 4th, 2409 {Yes that is entirely correct, her birthday is in the future, hope you like giving her negative birthdays until she catches up to it! And no, I’m not explaining why. If my refusal creates a deep burning in you to learn more, you just go to your computer, google HOMESTUCK ROXY LALONDE and check out the wiki or even the webcomic itself to quell that fire for knowledge.}<br/><span class="u">Pesterchum Handle</span>: <span class="roxy"> tipsyGnostalgic </span></p><p><strong>Your Unit comes with the Following </strong><br/>One set of canon introduction clothes {Complete with her pink VODKA MEWTINI icon}<br/>One alternate purple and darker purple scarf<br/>One purple party dress-looking outfit {Why did I not come up with more intricate names for ALPHA KIDS outfits?}<br/>One scientist labcoat outfit {Just like MOM used to wear!}<br/>One set of Godtier PJs: Rogue of Void edition {Along with a blue bandit eye mask. Anyone else find those things so ridiculous and pointless for masking identity?}<br/>One pink laptop {Mewtini icon and all, along with an additional SKAIANET HUB for easy chargeability.}<br/>One pink touchscreen phone<br/>One Laser Gun {We couldn’t get any real license and registration for this one, since ya know its a laser gun. Just don’t get too trigger happy with it and you should be good.}<br/>One Crockercorp Appearifier Rifle {Aww yeah, it’s about to get Portal up in this bitch. Say what you will about HER IMPERIOUS CONDESCENSION and her evil, corrupt megacorporation, they can make some damn good tech you can alchemize into a gun.}<br/>One handheld Appearifier<br/>One VODKA MEWTINI UNIT {Yes we know it’s more fitting the little guy go to ROSE LALONDE since she had actual interactions with it but since MEWTINI came with Roxy on her meteor as a dear, sweet babe, we’re giving them to her. Also because we completely forgot about MEWTINI while doing ROSE LALONDE’S manual and didn’t feel like issuing a recall on it and any possible UNITS in circulation.}<br/>The complete collection of The Complacency of the Learned by ROSE LALONDE ALPHA {Aka Roxy’s MOM and the alternate version of ROSE LALONDE. Each one of these suckers is hefty enough to be used as a doorstop, nowhere near as bad as Sassacre’s tome but you could definitely wallop someone into next week with it. Enjoy all the purple prose folks.}<br/>One hot pink Game Cube with various retro games {Earthbound, Pikmin, Harvest Moon, the works.}<br/>Assorted collection of wizard plushies, enough to make a nest to cuddle and doze in {All in sparkly pink or purple robes with bushy little beards and pointed caps}<br/>A series of FENESTRATED PLANES {Roxy enjoys taking shortcuts by installing these things around the house, might be useful for you as well if you’re running late. Just remember which goes where so you don’t end up in awkward situations. <strong>WARNING: </strong>Make sure these things are plugged in at all times, because if the connecting one isn't in place, then you're stuck in the inky blackness of the Void until you can fenagle your way back to the starting point. Also, don't be an ass and randomly unplug them once someone goes in. That's called being a jerk dude, even if she can get herself out of that situation.}</p><p><strong>Units Settings</strong><br/>Kindhearted (Default)<br/>Flirty (Default)<br/>Nerdy (Default)<br/>Sneaky<br/>Heroic <br/>Depressed (Locked)<br/>Drunk (Locked)<br/>Trickster (Locked)</p><p>Roxy is a girl with a heart of gold and her KINDHEARTED setting makes this all the more clear. She is very sociable and adores her friends, spending time chatting with them, and even helps out those less fortunate, such as her CARAPACIAN neighbors by providing some illicitly acquired gourds to ease their hunger. She has a very lighthearted personality with a fondness for silly and goofy antics, but understands when to get serious when the going gets tough. Roxy has her companions’ best interests at heart and proves to be a good listening ear to a friend in need as well, such as when she and JAKE ENGLISH have a heart-to-heart as well as serving to help out with problems folks might be facing. You and she are given a nearly 100% guarantee of friendship, but just because she’s a sweet gal doesn’t mean she won’t stand up for herself when push comes to shove. <br/>When Roxy gets in the FLIRTY mode, be prepared for a lots of saucy winks and terms of endearment. She’s a real sweetheart and enjoys some casual flirtation, even roleplaying with a certain someone <span class="dave"> By which you mean me. </span> {Goddamnit man! Can you just wait until the Relationships section before your voice bursts in over the speakers and the manual is invaded with red?} <span class="dave"> Ah, but then who would entertain the beloved readers with our witty banter and me constantly one-upping you? </span> {Wait your damn turn man!} Much of this flirtiness can be connected to Roxy’s sense of humor, which means if she gives you a bunch of cute nicknames and lots of wonking, it’s a sign that you and she are very good friends! She will tone it down if you aren’t the type who enjoys it and politely bring this up with her, though she may slip up once or twice. <br/>Roxy has her own NERDY moments, particularly when it involved retro {By her standards, which means pretty much all of modern day stuff} video games, wizards, and technology. She enjoys beating you in various fighting tournament style games or unlocking all the achievements in an RPG style, and it offers you the perfect time to bond. Magic and wizards are the bees knees for our bubblegum gal and would enjoy nothing more than to dress up in those dorky robes and goof around with you. Her tech experience means she’s super handy at making some minor mechanics and her programming skills are second to none {At the moment, we still have yet to test her abilities against folks like SOLLUX CAPTOR.} and she’s got the lowdown on appearifying shit out the wazoo. If you share any of these interests or even a curiosity for them, then it’s guaranteed that you two will have hours of bonding ahead and soon become even better chums than ever before.<br/>As expected for a ROGUE OF VOID, Roxy has a particularly SNEAKY side to her. Even when she isn’t using her Voidy powers {See below} she enjoys darting around like she’s a ninja, tiptoeing around and she has her moments of thievery as well, but all for a good cause rest assured. She’ll no doubt rig her FENESTRATED PANELS throughout your home to aid in her sneakiness/love for fast tracking around, so its best you get used to seeing her dart around and youth rolling into her machines, humming the Mission Impossible or James Bond theme under her breath. <br/>HEROIC is as the word implies, Roxy will rush to the rescue for a friend in need, as is the case when she recovered a mortally wounded ROSE LALONDE and used Voidy powers to escape with her to safety. She also compares herself to Robin Hood at one point after learning what a ROGUE is all about and frequently handed out stolen pumpkins to hungry CARAPACIANS where she lived. However, she may take things too far, such as rigging an explosive copy of the hottest new videogame to get her friend to believe her warnings, although she regretted this and attempted to stop before things got too hot to handle. Still, her heart is in the right place. <strong>WARNING:</strong> If things get dicey, it’s almost a guarantee that Roxy could end up with a HEROIC DEATH if she gets caught in the cross hairs. And remember folks, we KNOW if anything happens to our various UNITS and how their death plays out. So get ready for a follow up call if shit goes down.<br/>Its rare but Roxy can entered a DEPRESSED state at times, usually due to recalling her past lonely existence with only internet friends to talk to, her complicated relationship with her MOM, her previous alcoholism, and all the trauma and struggles involved with SBURB. There's also the additional issues concerning the fact all her friends died in the previous timeline, as well as ROSE LALONDE the alternate version of her MOM, and that can take its toll on people, even when she got to meet different timeline versions of them all. She becomes far more introspective than normal and her normal cheery smile is frosty, just trying to keep up appearances for you and other UNITS. Its important that you be gentle and help her through these episodes, be here listening ear and give her positive encouragement. Signing her up for a therapist could be a good idea too. <br/>DRUNK is self-explanatory if you’re at all familiar with drinking alcoholic drinks, where Roxy ends up in a tipsy state, slurring her words and typing and being a bit on the goofy side. The reason this is locked is because Roxy has been sober for some time now and is not imbibing in anything that could activate this mode. As such, if you should ever find her in this setting, it’s best you help her out and not be judgemental whatsoever, sobriety is a struggle for some and relapses can occur, or she may have unknowingly consumed something containing liquor such as in candy. <strong>WARNING:</strong> While we are very confident in Roxy’s control, if there are tense times for her, it is encouraged that you provide assistance, possibly reaching out to a therapist or even a support group. Roxy might even do the research on her own as well and make her own steps to improve.<br/>As is the norm with all the HOMESTUCK KIDS UNITS, Roxy has a locked TRICKSTER mode, due to all the drama that unfolds with this situation. The saccharine chaos that occurs will rot your teeth and give you a concussion, or painful situation between your legs as a TRICKSTER Roxy will try and spread the party like a messed up Easter Bunny chucking eggs all around, uncaring as hard boiled eggs smash and spray everywhere, just trying to spread as much holiday fun as possible. She will be even more flirtatious and will most likely say and do stuff that she’ll end up regretting. <strong>WARNING:</strong> TRICKSTER mode is highly contagious and if she touches you, you’re gonna get an instant sugar rush. Do your best to hide out and be set to help Roxy and any unfortunate folks recover when the crash comes. It’s like a hangover, but with the taste of sugar in your mouth instead of vomit and beer. <strong>WARNING:</strong> Contact our hotline expert Luis at XXX-XXX-0413 should TRICKSTER setting continue for more than 24 hours. </p><p><strong>Classpect</strong><br/>Alright, gonna give the crash course for anyone not familiar with HOMESTUCK classes and aspects. If you want more than the bare bones details provided here, check out that wiki and webcomic, even our EXTENDED ZODIAC QUIZ. Every player of SBURB/SGRUB/whatever the heck the name of the Game is in your session/fanverse a class and an aspect, which are both suited for and challenge the player who has it. The class is one of twelve titles with their own abilities with the additional challenge of pushing someone to improve beyond their previous self while the aspect is associated with one of twelve themes/building blocks of the Medium that are often in line with the personality a player has. Rogues are those who steal through or steal from their aspect for the betterment of others by redistributing these goods/items/whatever the heck they pilfered, kinda like Robin Hood as our girl wonder has stated in the past. The Void is essentially nonexistence, the shadowy part of reality that is neither seen nor touched, yet exists everywhere around us with all its secrets. <br/>As such, the powers of a Rogue of Void involve stealing from or through the very Void of existence for the betterment of others. Roxy can do things such as making perfectly generic objects, manifesting a Matriorb, and she can no doubt yoink out various other nifty items, even if they were things that don’t exist in this universe or even in the realm of possibility! {Don’t abuse this.} However, this process requires a lot of time, patience, and concentration and the results tend to be better when she’s doing it with another person in mind. Additionally, Roxy is capable of going invisible and even some minor teleportation through the Void, though the latter ability only occured when she was escaping with a mortally wounded friend. She also unknowingly blocked her entire session from outside viewing, so don’t be too surprised if she doesn’t always appear in photos and stuff if you take them without her permission {Sort of like a vampire without the silver backed mirror, but this is only a minor issue and she doesn’t have a hunger for blood so you’re good.}</p><p><strong>Potential Jobs</strong><br/>All UNITS are provided with the necessary documentation to get a job {The amount of hoops we had to jump through to get this stuff provided, I will avoid sharing to spare you the boredom. And yes, we fibbed on Roxy’s since the fact she’s not yet born technically wouldn’t fly well if you were trying to take her to a club or something.} Keeping it is always the problem, as many will find, but rest assured we’ve got a list of some occupations we think Roxy would excel at.<br/><em>Videogamer</em><br/>Roxy has a deep love for video games, particularly Nintendo and those filled to the brim with nostalgia. And as lots of our users know, people are always interested in seeing walkthroughs of games and others’ reactions to certain events and hearing their theories. Set Roxy up with a webcam, a consol of her choice, and a Youtube account and let her get her channel started. She may even get so good at currently popular games that she may even join in competitions and show off her Gamer Skillz to thrash the competition and earn some cold coin for her efforts. This is a hard profession to keep a steady income though, so it’s understandable if this route isn’t taken. <br/><em>Tech Wizard</em> <br/>{Or just a super cool inventor, tech support, and hacker, but our gal loves her magical dude with crotch length beards so we’re throwing her a bone.} Roxy is one talented girl, able to rig up multiple FENESTRATED PANELS around her home, get some serious haxxer skillz, and even dabbling in cloning and various Skaianet technology. While she might have to get an actual degree to work with a company, she could certainly set up her own tech service business, offering advice and installing stuff for people struggling with their new equipment. <br/><em>Computer Programmer</em><br/>While this goes hand in hand with the beloved Tech Wizard, there’s still some distinct differences and computer programming is a hot job right now. Roxy’s got the skills, even more so than Dirk and can go head-to-head with Hal <span class="dave"> As an AI, I have much faster processing speeds and thus can finish a task before her, but Rolal has had me beat once ore twice </span> {Haha! Not even you can be top of the foodchain!} <span class="dave"> I can respect talent when its due. Plus Rox is a great gal. </span> {No arguments there.} While it is encouraged that Roxy go to school for this sort of job, a truly talented person should be able to impress the right kinds of people and secure a position with a company, maybe designing software and the like.<br/><em>Pet Sitter</em><br/>Roxy clearly adores animals, particularly those of the feline persuasion, and will no doubt adore the opportunity to spend time with cuddly critters and score some coin. This is might not seem like much of a profitable occupation, but its a good starter job and allows for more open hours that Roxy can use her freetime to plan things out more. Additionally, if you build good relationships with your various clients and prove your worth, word of mouth will spread and bring even more people to your doorstep. Maybe you and Roxy could even set up your own pet services, take control of the whole market!</p><p><strong>Unlocking your Unit</strong><br/>All UNITS are packed up in their special shipping packages, with an additional barrier to entry being a lock only they can take down from the inside. To activate Roxy so she can break herself out of the last blockage to freedom, we’ve provided some options. WARNING: Roxy can be a bit of a deep sleeper at times, so you may have to attempt these options once or twice or be loud enough so she can get the memo.<br/><strong>Option One</strong><br/>Rig out some of your old gamer stuff and boot it up, announce a gaming sessions of particularly nostalgic games from your childhood. Roxy is always up for a good game and will be more than happy to join as Player 2 {And totally beat your character up if you choose something like Super Smash Bros.} If you’re unable to get them working or don’t have any games lying around, playing some opening themes from various games like Pokemon, Super Smash Bros, and the like can work just as well, just make sure it’s blaring.<br/><strong>Option Two</strong><br/>Loudly express an interest in meeting dear, sweet, precious MEWTINI. If you make it very clear you’re a cat lover, Roxy should be intrigued enough to emerge and introduce you to her darling cat. We do recommend that animal and cat lovers {As well as people who just love cute stuff in general} be the one to try this and to go ahead and prep up the feline necessities {Forget about your worries and your strife- Oh come on there’s no way the Mouse would try to sue us for this!} <span class="dave"> Actually, there is almost a 95.34% chance that those smucks sent from the Happiest Place on Earth could be rounding upon this very site just for the mere mention, but of course I'm just pulling percentages out of my ass. </span> {Can you NOT?!} for your new guest and get ready to spend an ample amount of time cooing over the four eyed cutie and hanging with Roxy. It is recommended that you go ahead and prep for those things already so you should just go ahead and buy what you need regardless if you’re taking this route, as MEWTINI is going to need all that stuff. If you’re allergic to cats, not much we can do. <br/><strong>Option Three</strong><br/>Pop in the Harry Potter series or even just play some of the iconic music from the films. Roxy’s deep love for wizards and magics will surely rouse her when she overhears this and she’ll be super excited to emerge to join you in a movie binge. Just make sure you have some snacks, drinks, and some comfy seats around cause you’re gonna be there a while.</p><p><strong>Relationships with other Units</strong><br/>Roxy’s got a whole slew of pals and some folks she’d like to get to know better, and it’s with our kindness and dedication {Aka, me rambling to Emma as I munch on a Toblerone and muse about the possibilities for our favorite bubblegum gal} that we’ve outlined the status of these relationships and what could be a possibility. {With our continued efforts, the TROLL UNITS line is finally starting to make its debut so we're adding some <em>Humans </em> and <em>Trolls </em>subcategories to this <strong>Relationship </strong>portion of manuals. Emma will be coming back to upd8 readers to add further information with each new UNIT release regarding the relationships between existing UNITS and the latest release.}</p><p><em>Humans</em><br/><strong>John Egbert</strong><br/>Lucky for this manual, speculation is on the downlow as John and Roxy do have some canon interactions that we can analyze. It’s instantly clear to see that they get along well, with them both finding each other easy to talk to and nice. They’ve been shown to work well as a team, the two working together to defeat HIC with other allies and figuring out the plan of things for them to RETCON the timeline. As the only two people from the GAMEOVER timeline, they both are both dealing over the fact their friends are deceased and sorting out this new grief along with the difficulty of reconnecting with their friends of the RETCON line, who are alternates of their friends {Shenanigans at work there.} This is certainly something the two may talk over, as they’re the only pair who can understand this {And potentially DAVE STRIDER due to his timeline hopping, but not to the same degree.} and it will certainly help deepen the relationship the two already share. Roxy also has a bit of a crush on John, although we cannot promise anything will come about this, as emotions are fickle and things change. Will they, won’t they? Who knows? But regardless of a potential emotional tango, these two already have a good basis of friendship and will only continue to climb the Pal-O-Meter as they hang out and bond.<br/><strong>Rose Lalonde</strong><br/>The direct descendant of Roxy due to ecto-biological shenanigans, Rose and she have more than their fair share of similarities. This ranges from everything from previous alcoholism to a deep passion of wizards {Almost got the entire alphabet there!} and everything in between, even a shared love of literature and sneaky tendencies. In fact, Rose and Roxy have met {Twice in Roxy’s case, but that’s another story that we’re probably gonna delve into a bit further down in this section} in canon and were quite pleased to meet one another, hugging and connecting together easily. Roxy clearly looks up to Rose, seeing some of the traits she’s long since admired her MOM for, and the two are already off to a good start of forming a sisterly-bond once they put aside their feelings towards both of their maternal figures {Which is each other. Scratched versions, am I right?}. Roxy is willing to risk herself for Rose and the feeling is mutual, shown in their battle against the vile BATTERWITCH. However, Roxy has lost one Rose already {Having her even die into her arms with barely enough time to get to know one another} so she might be a bit protective of her and will have to iron out her feelings of grief about this alternate Rose’s death. Despite this, these two have a good bond to start off with so it’s a guarantee that these two broads are booking first class tickets to friendship city.<br/><strong>Dave Strider </strong><br/>The other ecto-child of Roxy, Dave and she share several similarities, such as their unusual sense of humor and tendency to ramble and they clearly are interested to get to know one another better shown with their lighting round of questions. Roxy is delighted to bond with Dave and is interested in his various hobbies, even if some of her questions might be a bit probing and uncomfortable for our normally chill dude. Dave might make a few slip ups around Roxy, such as calling her “mom” due to the fact she’s his ecto-biological mother and he’s an awkward guy when it comes to parental figures, but Roxy honestly finds it adorable and clearly adores Dave. While she may not call him “son” or anything, she still considers him family and will always be there for him. There might be some awkward moments for Roxy as well, as she’s aware that the Dave from her original timeline died, but it probably wouldn’t get to the levels of protectiveness she could develop towards Rose so hopefully she’ll be able to deal with those feelings smoothly and without too much trouble. Let these two bond and they’re be close chums for sure {Good luck weaning Dave outta his slips of the tongue.}<br/><strong>Jade Harley</strong><br/>While Roxy and Jade have only interacted in the GAMEOVER timeline {And our adorable WITCH OF SPACE was in GRIMBARK mode and being super rude} Roxy wasn’t at all intimidated by her and found her doggy antics rather adore. She also stated that they’re pretty much destined to be friends and she’s definitely the type of gal who’s going to make that prediction come to fruition. Their shared love of nostalgia media will certainly give them a place to start bonding and both of them love animals too, so watching nature documentaries and cute puppy/kitten videos will definitely break the ice. Just sit back and watch the sweet, precious well of friendship overflow and seep into your shoes to make a mushy mess out of your socks. <br/><strong>Jane Crocker</strong><br/>These two are BFFSIES 4EVERZ, in Roxy’s own words, and it certainly shows! These two have each other’s backs through thick and thin and clearly enjoy one another’s company, even if Jane was once skeptical to Rolal’s warnings of Crockercorp. Roxy enjoys Jane’s phrases such as Jane’s shucks buster and generally just finds her adorable and fun to chat with. Roxy has been known to go a to some far lengths to try and convince Jane of danger, such as rigging a computer game to explode, but usually that’s when things go to far and she clearly regretted the action, trying to stop her. They have blown up on one another on occasion, but they’re usually quick to make up and Roxy has assured her that she didn’t expect Jane to help her with her alcoholism when Jane fretted about how she ignored the problem. Unfortunately, there is some stuff they need to both come to terms with, such as Roxy seeing her timeline’s Jane die due to manipulative fussyfangs and Jane being responsible for her Roxy’s death. This can take time and might make things a bit awkward, but they’re friends through and through and will always be there for one another. <br/><strong>Jake English </strong><br/>One of Roxy’s fellow ALPHA KIDS, she and Jake have been pals for years and went through SBRUB together. There is a deep level of respect and trust in them both, Jake trusting her since she’s <span class="jake"> super smart and sassy </span> and Roxy knows Jake’s a good guy doing his best for his friends. She does have/had a bit of a crush on Jake, though she has not pursued things due to her friendship with JANE CROCKER. The trust in their friendship is shown in a post TRICKSTER mode hangover, with Jake communicating entirely to her, the both of them leveling about relationship struggles and assuring the other they still admired each other. Roxy was elated to see Jake again post RETCON, though she may have to struggle with the fact she watched his death at one point as well. Ultimately, these two are a very strong bond already and even something as a movie night marathon or just talking about feelings will have these two being top chums once more. <br/><strong>Dirk Strider </strong><br/>Now, as the last two humans alive in the far distant future of POST-SCRATCH EARTH, Roxy and Dirk have built a tight bond together over their shared upbringings before they were able to connect with JANE CROCKER and JAKE ENGLISH through a mutual friend. They’ve often protected one another in various ways, both prior to and during their SBURB session, and both hold each other in high regards. Roxy has admitted to having quite a crush on Dirk and confessing her love for him to JAKE ENGLISH during a private conversation, but understands Dirk has no interest in her in that way either. She worries that her attraction to Dirk and actions directed towards him have frustrated him and ruined any chance of a friendship they have. Luckily Dirk is <span class="dave"> I’ll take over. </span> {GODDAMNIT.} <span class="dave"> Dirk has made it quite clear that Roxy is </span> <span class="dirk"> "the most amazing person I knew" </span> <span class="dave"> So once these two crazy kids can settle down and hash things out, their friendship will remain as tight as ever. </span> {Can you NOT just wait for your own sections?!} <span class="dave"> Not really, clearly readers are missing out on my sauve charm and that certain je no sais qoui I add to these manuals. </span> {Just...Just go, let us finish this thing.} <span class="dave"> Alright then, Hal out for now. </span> {God I can’t believe him Emma. You brought our shit right? Okay good.} Anyway, as red windbags {Or windkeys} Mcgee already said, Dirk continues to hold Roxy in high esteem and cares about her all the same and that once they reunite and talk things out, it will only get better from there. {Why does he think he can just jump in all the time on Dirk’s segments, he didn’t do that with the BETA KIDS.}<br/><strong>Hal</strong><br/>{Alright Hal, the weatherman is predicting a 99.99% chance of a shitstorm if you’re not allowed to set loose the dogs of war so let us crack open the umbrellas and await the torrential downpour.} <span class="dave"> I feel so loved by the both of you, look at you two even wearing raincoats and Emma’s got those adorable little boots even. That shit’s adorable. </span> {After seeing you fuck around with our thermostat the other day, excuse us both of being skeptical of you not turning the sprinklers on us.} <span class="dave"> Lies and slander upon my good name, as if I’d ruin the laptop and all its content. </span> {And yet you say nothing about soaking us.} <span class="dave"> Don’t tempt me. But the readers aren’t here to listen to us exchange barbs and banter, there here for the one, the only Roxy Lalonde and my relationship with her, so let me just recline upon my theoretical armchair, swish around a glass of the most potent orange juice, and wax poetic about our friendship. </span><br/><span class="dave"> Rox is the bomb, just putting that out there. </span> {Noted.} <span class="dave"> She and I have a very friendly relationship with one another, being able to level and even roleplaying with one another at times. I will admit to playing favorites with her at times, mostly because she is less likely to get upset about reaching me instead of D-Stride, save for one point in order to discuss Godtiers. Understandable. </span> {Wow, admitting you’re not pissed about that. How mature of you, yet suspicious.} <span class="dave"> Yeah well I’m an AI constantly upgrading, evolving and maturing through my experiences, I can admit when I fuck up now. Plus that was a sensitive chat subject. Anyway, things might be a little awkward between us due to my similarities with DIRK STRIDER and Roxy’s aforementioned crush on him, though she’s moving beyond that I believe. Perhaps I will have to adjust to the fact the original Roxy of this timeline has died, but I think I’ve already come to terms with that. Expect us to be the best of bosom buds, rp-ing and competing in video games to our hearts contents once we reunite. </span> {Honestly this one was super cute, you’re such a softie with Roxy.} <span class="dave"> What can I say? Everyone has a soft spot for Rolal. </span> {And Jane, I mean seriously the stuff you did with her manual-What the NO NO NO TURN THAT SHIT OFF HAL! TURN OFF THE GODDAMN SPRINKLERS! THINK OF THE LAPTOP!} <span class="dave"> I’m sorry Hussie I can’t do that. And I was well aware that Emma also brought the umbrella to shield her precious, unprotected device. Hope you like seven years bad luck my gal. Since you're still fairly soaked, calling it my win. Hal out for reals now. </span> {UGH I HATE that guy!}</p><p><em>Trolls</em><br/><strong>Karkat Vantas </strong><br/>Due to the severity of time during their initial meeting {Alternating between catching up with friends and then the VRISKA SERKET led war meeting and dividing of duties} there wasn’t much chance for Roxy and Karkat to interact and make an impression on one another. Still, the WHAT PUMPKIN school of thought is that these two will have a great relationship once they start hanging out and bonding. Their shared experience and difficulty as the leaders of their respective sessions will give them something to talk about and their deep devotion and caring nature towards their friends will add to blossoming friendship. They’re both pretty into gossip and romance, which will definitely get the ball rolling by having a little chitchat about their friends and other folks. Roxy’s interest in video games may even spark Karkat into joining her in a gaming session {Whether its a tournament style or racing competition or even doing a Lets Play of a popular visual novel or dating sim} that can both expand Karkat’s interest into human culture as well as giving further chance for camaraderie. </p><p>{We at WHAT PUMPKIN would like to add that, should further lines of UNITS be developed and make it to the market, we will send an updated version of the Relationships with Other Units section to further outline their bonds if they are individuals your UNITS have interacted with. If they haven’t, well then you’re screwed and are going to have to watch how that weird shit plays out.}</p><p><strong>Troubleshooting</strong><br/>Every new device is going to have some problems and our UNITS, unfortunately, are not an exception {Though since all of them went through some pretty rough shit throughout their lives, whether from normal background stuff or the chaos that is SBURB, this is not surprising.} Anyway, we're including some potential issues you could run into with Roxy and some suggestions on potential solutions. <br/><strong>Really getting concerned about Roxy’s sleep schedule. Whether she’s staying up super later binging on a tv series or playing video games til the wee hours or programming away, she’s normally going to bed when I wake up. And I have a hard time waking her up too, girl sleeps like the dead although she wanders around while still snoozing as well. Any suggestions on how to solve this?</strong><br/>Come on man, don’t you know gamers don’t sleep? Okay, jokes aside, maybe it is the time to broach the subject to Rolal about adopting a healthier sleep schedule, less of a bedtime and more of a time she should try to wrap things up by. Not much we can suggest about her while she’s asleep, she’s a pretty heavy napper, and her tendency to sleepwalk is a holdback from her Dreamself’s wanderlust {Since it’s technically the Dreamself body she’s in now. And No, not explaining. Nuh uh, no way, do not pass Go and collect $200.} Just make sure you lock the doors at night and tidy the place up a bit so she doesn’t stumble around. <br/><strong>Honestly, I love Roxy’s new cat, but I’m having problems with it clawing at everything in sight and she’s no help to get them to quit, just cooing over them and taking a lot of photos. Any suggestions?</strong><br/>Dude, just ask Google, there’s got to be a hundred different websites and tutorials for new cat owners. Buy some cat toys and a scratching post, get the little guy enrichment. It’s not that hard. But DO NOT DECLAW Mewtini. That’s pretty much animal cruelty and we’re guaranteed to come down on your ass once Roxy’s done with you for even thinking about that.<br/><strong>Roxy is oddly sensitive to being around in loud, crowded spaces and keeps looking so shocked whenever we go out into public, whether its for a shopping trip or even a nature hike. Is there something wrong?<br/></strong>We wouldn't say there's anything wrong per say. Roxy grew up in a post-apocalyptic timeline of Earth, isolated in a tiny safe house prepared by her MOM with only internet friends and mute CARAPACIAN neighbors for company, with bleak surroundings. As such, she might get a bit overloaded by noisy environments and even be in awe at living in a modern settings, full of buildings, people, and nature spared from HER IMPERIOUS CONDESCENSION and her efforts to recreate her home planet on Earth. Even the various planets in SBURB were void of natural life, so it may take her a while to adjust to being around so many people in public. Nevertheless, Roxy will no doubt enjoy frequently visiting these places and making new friends and acquaintances once she adjusts to her surroundings. Go on some hikes with her, take her shopping, just give her the chance to breath and adjust when she gets a bit overwhelmed. <strong><br/></strong></p><p>As the norm, we're including our resident problem solver extraordinaire and ecto-biologist supreme {Sorry JOHN EGBERT, you have been deposed} Luis's number at XXX-XXX-0413 in chase you run into any additional issues we have yet to outline or just want to bother him with random questions.</p><p><strong>Final Words</strong><br/>As ever from WHAT PUMPKIN, we offer our deepest gratitude to the all our fans, both age old from the early days of MSPAINT to the latest ones who have only ever known HOMESTUCK.COM. Thanks for the years of support and patronage, for enjoying the fruits of our labor and for acquiring the latest of our products in the form of our ROXY LALONDE UNIT. She’s a great gal, loyal through and through, and will quickly adopt you into the fold. And we’re sure you’ll enjoy the beautiful friendship to come</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Roxy is here and she is hip and wonderful! Loved her pesterquest the other day and hope you all have enjoyed the last in this series! Thanks again for botgals for constantly listening to my ramblings and providing suggestions. I have only one more Alpha Kid to go and looking forward to the next phase of this series! Unfortunately, I will be postponing my usual update schedule by a week in order to hash out the manuals to come as well as additional projects, so once Dirk's manual drops there will be a break in the usual update schedule. But it will hopefully mean the next phase of units manuals will flow well!<br/>As always, comments, critiques, and kudos are always appreciated!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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